Just a little faith…

Just a little faith…

I have never really had the courage to let go of all control to a point where I had no back-up plan whatsoever. Of course that also includes letting my horse go in a huge field without any kind of fence and with the possibility of running away as far as one wants to go. That has always been kind of terrifying to me. Or at least it has ever since I became old enough to step into to age of worries… Things were different when I was younger. 5 or 6 years ago I did not think much about all the stuff that could go wrong. I just lived in the moment without all this thinking in my way. Instead I followed my heart and gut-feeling.

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That also lead me to amazing moments with a mare I used to ride back in the days with whom I sometimes went for long walks alone with only a rope around her neck. Sometimes I would take of the rope and she would come along completely free. Sometimes we went off side by side and other times I would walk 5 or 10 meters in front of her. It didn’t matter because I felt how we were together. In fact I don’t remember ever thinking about “what if she does not come along?”. I don’t remember having those worries and I still believe that was also part of the reason why she choose to stay… That she choose to stay because I believed she would and never for a moment started having any doubts about it.

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This whole thing of not overthinking and instead letting go of control has grown with me through the years. As I have become older it has started to become an obstacle in my life and obviously that also affects my work with horses. Therefore I also believe that is why things are different for me today when I play with my horses compared to my earlier. Reality is that it is way harder for me to let go of thoughts and control today than it was when I was younger. Not only do I find it harder to let go of all control like I do in this liberty play and just relax in the situation of not having any influence at all. I also like to believe that my problem with letting go of control and just have faith in the situation is actually a part of the reason why problems arise whenever I finally DO let go of my control. Let me try to explain…

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When I finally let go of control I of course wish everything to work out perfectly. That is just a human thing I guess. I wish for my horse to pay attention to me. I wish for my horse to seek my company and join me of his own free will. Nevertheless that is not always how things turn out… What actually happens is that I get so obsessed with my idea of how things should be that I become stressed about it. I become impatient. I become bossy. I become tense in my body and mind. All of this because I deep down do not trust that things could work perfectly fine by themselves if I only dared to believe that they actually could. The thing that actually happens is that I become scared. Scared of not being good enough for the project to succeed. Scared of not being good enough for my horse to share his time with me when he has a possibility of choosing not to.

What I often see is that when I make peace within myself that everything doesn’t have to be perfect. That when I try to have faith in the project instead of overthinking it or worry about a bad outcome. That is the point where it all works out the best!

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Therefore my message for you today is to have faith. Stop worrying so much about all the things that could go wrong. I promise you that no matter how much you overthink them they probably will go wrong either way if they are meant to and then you might as well enjoy your time without worries and useless thoughts on the subject. Enjoy your life people and live it instead of thinking your way through it. It doesn’t pays off.



10 thoughts on “Just a little faith…”

  • Such a lovely post. I find your way with your horses and your thoughts on being and working beside them, so inspiring and refreshing xxx

    All best wishes. Xx

    • Exactly! I am hoping to reach that state some day, but for now I will only do my best to try. I guess you can’t do anymore than that. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and thoughts with me. I really appreciate that! Best from Sophie

  • Amazing how you can be this honest to yourself… This is so true. I want to ask you something. What kind of a relationship do you have with your horses? I mean, is it something like a leader and the herd or something closer to friendship? If it’s closer to friendship, how do you manage to keep them away from the dominant spirit? Best wishes and all my love…

    • Thank you for your kindness, Ashley! Even though it might sounds easy for me to be this honest it sure isn’t, but one is allowed to have a little epiphany now and then, right? 😉

      I would say that the relationship I strive for is more equal than ‘leader/herd’. Of course there can be moments where I need to take control, but mostly I try to make things as equal as possible. I don’t believe that horses will become dominant simply because we do not take that role and I would see it more as a sign of previous repression. If the horse has previously been suppressed a lot and then suddenly gets the opportunity of making the calls then I think it could happen.

      So I would say that I would not be so worried about it actually. Most horses will simply enjoy to be heard and understood instead of trying to take advantage of the situation!

      I hope that could provide you some answer! Best from Sophie

  • You are amazing with your horses! The bond between you and Alvaro and Torrin is incredible. I started liberty in 2015 with my now 11 year old horse, Olly. He’s picking it up but rather slowly. I think that’s partly due to his age. I find myself having more and more of those peaceful moments you talk about with my other horses as well as Olly. Your blog and your Instagram account offer really helpful advice and something to aspire to. I live in a very rural area of Argentina where this kind of horsemanship is considered beyond crazy so its impossible to find guidance when I find myself doubting myself and what I am doing with my horses. You have really helped me get to the stage that I am today with my horses! Thank you!

    • This is such beautiful and heartwarming words, Molly. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me! I am truly honoured that you have been able to find this kind of support and inspiration from all of my writing and I can imagine it must be hard to be the only one feeling the same way about horses as you do… I know the feeling very well myself and it is not always easy to be ‘the weird one’ who has no one to seek help with. Yet it sounds like you and Olly are on your way to something amazing. That really makes me happy to hear!

      Once again thank you so much for sharing with me. It always makes my day to hear the outstanding stories from other people out there!

  • Thank you so much, you were really helpful! I would like to share my story with you, if you’d like. Before we got him, i was one of the blind riders who couldn’t see the abuse that is going on around her. We went to his stable and he had that look in his eyes that made us fall in love with him. That blindness of mine was so strong that i could not realise that he was limping. I was showjumping then (not so proud). A few months after we bought him, i started to wake up slowly. We found a vet and he x-rayed his legs and told us that three of his legs were lame because of his horrible past with all kinds of abusement. After resting for three and a half months, we started to trot just a little. But there were times where he freeked out and started galloping and bucking. So weeks passed by and the vet told us that he was as healthy as he could be in his lifetime. I have been trying to do Parelli stuff with him but he says “if you won’t take control, i will!” While trying to lunge, he tries to come on to me and rears, bucks and stuff, for example.

    And now i don’t know what the hell i’m supposed to do. Thank you so much for reading, you are an amazing person and i really love the way you work and you know where to stop and let go of control with horses. Best wishes ✨☺️

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