Good enough for who?

Good enough for who?

What should I be able to do with my horses? Should we be able to perform a lot of tricks and exercises?

Why do I become stressed that I will not be ‘good enough’? Good enough for who? 

More than once I have caught myself in the act of becoming stressed because I didn’t feel like I could do enough with my horses. That I hadn’t taught them enough things. That I wasn’t serious enough about my training with them. That we couldn’t perform anything spectacular that made us stand out from the crowd. Where did school halts, classical bows or impressive rears go? Afterwards I started wondering why I became so stressed about all of this… Where did such high expectations to myself come from and why did I ever get to a point of bad concience for not being or doing enough? It is not like anyone ever pointed out that things are like this, but my inner voice sure does now and then.

The truth is that my horses are with me and I am with them because I love them. Because I enjoy being with them. I pay for them myself (with a little help from my parents) and I have absolutely nothing I need to do with them except from what I want to do. Yet I sometimes feel like I am not doing enough or I am not able to perform enough with them. Nobody is asking anything of me, but either way I am hit by the feeling of “I need to get myself together and concentrate. I need to perform. I need to master something special. I need to stand out by being able to DO SOMETHING.”.

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I and many other people online these days are constantly blown away by photos or videos of people doing one amazing thing with their horses after another. I am in the exact same place myself and every time I am watching one of these mind-blowing features I get hit by the feeling I have been talking about. The feeling that I am lacking behind and need to get more serious about it all. And why is that? Most likely because we live in a world where you get noticed if you are good at DOING SOMETHING. So how will I ever be noticed or be anything at all if I don’t do so too? Of course it is not as black and white as just stated, but when you get too caught up in your own thoughts it sure feels that way once in a while.

It might sounds weird, but one of the biggest dreams in my life is to be able to be with my horses in complete harmony. No expectations. No stress. No pressure. No corrections. What do I want instead? More peace. More understanding. More guiding. More freedom. When I sit down and really think about it I always end up with the same conclusion. Actually I don’t have a need to be able to do all these fancy things. It would and could be awesome of course, but if I never go there I would be okay with that. All the fancy stuff is not what I am longing after, but instead I am hunting the little moments of harmony and togetherness. It seems to me right now that all the fancy stuff would only be a bonus. Not the final goal…

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You are most welcome to share, like or comment! 



7 thoughts on “Good enough for who?”

  • Yes, I can relate. I used to compete in jumping, before my horse refused to jump, to show me that my approach was NOT okay. I left competing and started again from the basics with completely different approach. My friends from the competition world keep asking whether I’m going to compete again. I still love jumping and my horse started loving it again, but for some reason, there is always something more important to strive for than competition. Maybe someday 🙂

    • This is a lovely story that contains a very important point. I am sure your horse will be forever greatful for you listenting to him and changing your mindset and approach. It is kinda funny how competing and being ‘best’ suddenly seems to be less important by the time one gets there… I can very much relate to your epiphany! I wish for you the best in the future. Thank you so much for sharing your lovely story and thoughts with me!

  • Once again, speechless. That is so much how I feel, or used to feel. I always got stressed because I couldn’t do so many awesome tricks with my horses cause one was a stalion and he went crazy and the other one is quite old.. Thank God I caught myself feeling “not good enough” soon enough to change it. You’re INSPIRING Sophie, thanks for writting such beautiful things.
    PD: where’s your bareback pad from? Would you recommend it? I’m really keen on buying one!

    • Thank you so much for your kind reply, Sybila! I am so happy that I have been able to put your thoughts into words and even more thankful that you have found some support in my writing. It is truly a gift that you were able to catch yourself in the act of not being good enough! You are most welcome 🙂

      My bareback pad is very old and was given to me as a gift so actually I don’t know where it is bought… I am very happy with it though, but I have also heard many people who like the bareback pads from Barefoot. Maybe you could look into one of those!

      Best from Sophie

  • I too can relate, and I will say; you and your work is noticed by me! And I intend to share, and to let myself be inspired by it – and perhaps just as important – to try to let go of these expectations myself.. not being judged; by myself or by others – that means freedom and ensure enough peace that I will not put pressure on my horses (which occasionally does happen).. I am stunned that you having your age, is already so mature about your relationships with your horses! Thanks for sharing all these thoughts!

    • Thank you so much for your kind words. It really means a great deal to be noticed and acknowledged for the work that takes up so much space in my heart and mind. It is not easy to let go of all these expectations nor to stop worrying about the thoughts of others, but it really pays off when you finally manage to get there… I am the one here thanking you for such kind and heartwarming words and for taking part in my adventure and personal journey with the horses. THANK YOU!

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